By Your Side
by leogrl19
Summary: A treat for all you cravers of romance! Simply, a more in-depth view into the adorable Gordon/Alyx relationship and its progression. Follows the main storyline, but I started it in Half-Life 2 Ep. 1 for obvious reasons -- feedback appreciated!


YAY! I'm finally getting my HL fic out there! :D

I actually wasn't going to ship this chapter out until at least one of my other fics was done, but eh: life's too short. I have to say, I'm a big Half-Life fan and, of course, being myself, I had to dabble with the Alyx/Gordon romance because they're just so darn cute -- I couldn't resist! That, and there's not enough of this pairing on the website to satisfy me, so once again, I'll have to add my two cents to the equation!

This story starts from the beginning of Episode 1 (b/c that's where the good stuff starts) and will go on from there, pretty much following the storyline, but there will be a bigger focus on the romance side of things. I actually think, to give this particular story an interesting twist, I'll switch POV's chapter to chapter: this first one is Gordon, but just in case someone gets lost, G and A will be in my chapter titles to inform you which of the two's perspective it's in.

(sigh) Can't stand these things....

**Disclaimer:** I own NOTHING of the Half-Life franchise -- yeah; thanks for reminding me!

Enjoy and R&R!

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_**Unmistakable darkness…A swirling vortex of nothing, stretching on into infinity…Encompassing and utterly inescapable**_**….**

_This again… _Gordon Freeman thought mildly as he gradually came into consciousness.

Well…Perhaps consciousness was not the proper word in this situation: to come into consciousness would have to mean that he was alive, or at least that he had solid proof of where he was – frankly, the man didn't have a proper grip on either. He could not feel his body and saw through opened eyelids, he was not sure he had, a shadowy abyss…yet the whole experience was oddly comforting: something familiar, something counted on to be commonplace at this stage.

_Where are you? _Gordon thought, close to impatiently but more so expectantly; surprise from these encounters had left him long ago. _He always did like to make an entrance. _

He – if the G-Man could be classified that way, the MIT grad didn't know what the entity truly was besides some omnipotent power over his life – had always introduced himself in this fashion. Perhaps the G-Man enjoyed the idea of being the first thing seen before he was sent off to accomplish an irrationally daunting and usually deadly "assignment"; maybe the being took satisfaction in repeatedly dashing any hopes to him one day having anything close to an average life again.

But this time, "He" was late.

And while not knowing much about his…'benefactor'; Gordon did know that he was not one to waste time or dally – the actuality that this indisputable fact could be occurring unnerved him greatly.

_Am I dead? _The query came not filled with terror, but with a rational acceptance in case it was true – always the scientist, logic came first. _Dying wouldn't be such a bad thing…It would be easier at least. _

That was a lie on his part: an exceptionally bad one at that.

He truly didn't _want _to die – at least not without knowing how it happened or without having others witness it and know why he was no longer there.

He already carried enough guilt….

_Others. _Gordon's mind suddenly clicked loudly; a mental key had opened the floodgates as a torrent of recollections came rushing back.

_The Citadel…_ Awed dread: an explosion; unbearable heat; untold destruction.

He remembered success. With the Gravity Gun, he had successfully managed to destroy an important component, one vital enough to compromise the entire integrity of the foreboding edifice.

_Breen… _Gratification: frenzied exclamations, agonized cries, absolute eradication.

Breen was dead. There was no way that he could have survived the explosion when it erupted from where he stood.

_Good riddance. _Gordon thought easily, a bit taken aback as he felt a more notable one-sided exchange between Breen and him rise up to the surface.

"_Tell me, Doctor Freeman, if you can." _His tone was insufferably superior, his words already having the conviction that they would undoubtedly be proven correct._ "You have destroyed so much. What is it, exactly, that you have created? Can you name even one thing?" _A deliberate pause, before an assured statement_. "I thought not." _

The words, though known by the renegade physicist to be wrong and only said in an attempt to shake his resolve, surprisingly, and accurately found their mark; they echoed in the hollows of his now weakened morale.

_What __**have**__ I created? _

_Malcontent__…Revolt… _Gordon answered mechanically, _a chance at freedom…A will to live._

What had he destroyed?

_Lives…Hundreds upon thousands of lives… _He once again answered robotically, _not Combine, not aliens – but innocent, human lives._

They were the ones who suffered for decades that he had conveniently skipped through, only to come back and try to defeat what he took part in creating. The man was no **real** hero; he did not provide succor since the beginning by creating the Resistance like Eli, Dr. Kleiner, Barney, or…

_Alyx…. _

It was the first time that Gordon felt anything close to panic while in his disembodied state. All of his efforts were then put into finding out what had happened to her, his brain on overload as it managed to recall the last event they shared together to the smallest detail.

_The explosion completely engulfed Breen, but pulsed powerfully before expanding __out uncontrollably…I looked away from the blinding light trying to shield my body from the heat…Alyx! She was suddenly there – by my side: one second congratulating me, the next using her hands to shield her own face from the blast's intensity. _

Logic kicked in: she surely would have died, and he would have perished along with her…Maybe he **was** actually dead. How either she or he thought they would make it out of there alive when there was the highest possibility of a negative result, was beyond him in the first place – until his entire vision brightened drastically, giving way to the scene that the G-Man had paused him in beforehand – as if wanting to show how he had died to his slave once more.

Again, the two of them were in the dark fusion reactor, cringing away from the mighty explosion before, one by one, creatures swathed in indescribable purple energy appeared; all chanting as one….

_Those __are…Vortigaunts? How…Was that possible?_

Whether it was or not did not stop them from circling the frozen Alyx Vance close to protectively, their chants gradually becoming louder as more and more of them appeared. Gordon witnessed this all helplessly, not being able to make any effort to move before his green eyes widened in shock as two Vortigaunts suddenly appeared on either side of his companion, placing their glowing hands on her shoulders while her body became animated.

"_Ohh_!" Alyx exclaimed breathlessly, as oxygen was once again introduced to her lungs, her head glancing from side to side for an explanation as she saw the aliens.

No other words managed to be uttered as the physicist could only stare in silence as she and the aliens began to glow brightly, their forms rapidly dissipating into thin air as they left only a dazzling white light behind them.

Gordon, forced to close his eyes from the spectacle, opened them as soon as his body informed him that he could without being temporarily blinded, but instead of palpable relief that the woman was able to retreat safely, anger filled him as his face scowled at the steadily approaching sight.

The G-Man had finally arrived.

The usually satisfied smile was on the suited entity's ashen face, but more so in his pallid blue eyes as his face fully appeared before the man. His thin lips inhaled a raspy breath before beginning to open for a no doubt sardonic remark – but it, to Gordon's immense surprise, never had the chance to be spoken as the chants of the Vorts once again resounded around him.

It was the first time that the scientist had ever seen the G-Man look just as stunned as he looked around for the cause, his form being reduced more and more. Once again, the aliens made a circle around his now visible body, but this time the purple energy pulsed from their hands and seemed to restrain him from moving while more Vortigaunts appeared in front of Gordon himself. Watching wordlessly, he felt his lips curl into a light smile at the annoyed expression on the usually unflappable G-Man's face before his expression once more composed itself as he cogently straitened his tie.

"W-we'll see_…_about_** that**__._" The being threatened antagonistically with a scowl: again showing emotion rarely seen by his help.

As soon as the last word echoed in the darkness, the warm light now wrapped around Gordon while the two chanting aliens laid their glowing hands upon him until everything was bathed in unbearable white.

--------

Again, there was darkness.

Impenetrable shadows that would not be denied as it surrounded the lone man, making Gordon Freeman wonder if he had ever left the bleak abyss that he started in; if all that he experienced was nothing more than some elaborate dream his brain coaxed him to believe in to not acknowledge yet another failure.

_It wouldn't be surprising._

While a nice fantasy, there was no way that the G-Man could be so easily subdued – and it was not like he hadn't had many previous dreams where similar fates met the entity only to wake up and be sorely, **sorely** disappointed.

Begrudgingly accepting his grim fate, the physicist felt more and more stimulus awaken his senses though not aware as to why: nerve endings were reactivating and immediately stressed as Gordon felt an extreme pressure against his body, but could not determine the cause. He had never before been able to experience so much while in the G-Man's void and it made him uneasy.

_Where did he send me? _Gordon wondered instinctively, noticing that he also incorporated the act of breathing again, something that was becoming increasingly hard to maintain from the heavy weight on his chest. _At least it's not another train: nice change of pace… _He thought mordantly, _though I'm going to suffocate if I don't find a way to relieve this weight soon. _

Feeling his arms reciprocate when his mind ordered them to push upward, the man grunted in exertion as the load would not budge no matter how much he tried – not to mention that his body felt oddly weakened for some unknown reason.

_Dammit. _Gordon cursed internally as he continued pushing, wishing that he could use his feet to help but feeling them trapped by something as equally restrictive. _Of all the times not to have the Gravity Gun…Son of a b-_

"-_has_ to be around here." A muffled but obviously feminine voice stated, disrupting his thoughts. "We've gotta be close…" The voice trailed off uncertainly before suddenly becoming animated once again, "Just _gotta_ be!"

Gordon's brow furrowed significantly as he strained his ears to their limit to identify the tone: it sounded so familiar for some reason, but….

_No; it couldn't be __**her**__…Could it? _He questioned himself; a part of him now abundantly curious and even more determined to get out and find the owner of that voice, while another dismissed it as his mind playing tricks on him.

Hearing a brief installment of silence, the womanly tone began speaking once again but it was far too distorted to properly hear; another sound, that was unmistakably recognizable and very close taking its place. A long, mechanical whine before two subsequent thundering footsteps managed to make the scientist's already limited breath catch in his throat as small streaks of blinding light began to shine down on him and become larger as a shadowy piece of rubble was tossed away.

Gordon's mind raced a mile a minute while there was an unbearable pause in action when hearing the debris thud harshly against the ground, before a robotic head stuck its way through the hole inquisitively.

_I can't believe it – Dog?! _He exclaimed joyfully in his mind, never happier to see the mechanical mutt more than now, feeling an uncharacteristically wide smile spread on his once stern face.

As if the robot was telepathic, it beeped excitedly from its discovery as the plates over its red "eye" zoomed in and out to confirm his find as the one he had been ordered to look for. He could only continue to smile, grateful to the mechanical canine as he used a gloved hand to pet one of its head flaps in praise.

"Any luck over there, Dog?" The female voice spoke again, Gordon being able to hear it far more clearly this time.

_She's al – Alyx! _The physicist mentally cried out, almost feeling it slip from his now parted lips, a wonderful combination of alleviation and happiness filling his entire being and letting him ignore his injuries; he felt a tightening sensation in his chest, but ignored it as previous pain from lack of oxygen; _Thank God…._

Though not the most faithful believer in the omnipotent entity, he was glad to say that there were still some types of miracles in this apocalyptic hell.

Dog, once again seemingly adopting Gordon's delight as its own, nodded his head up and down enthusiastically to his owner's question before, in its rush, hitting one of its head flaps against a rock. The man chuckled softly at the sight, not blaming it for its over eagerness as the robot quickly removed two more pieces of rubble with its gigantic "hands" and tossed them in an unimportant direction before effortlessly lifting him high into the air; right as Alyx again spoke urgently: he could hear her perfectly now.

"Dog – I think I found something. This could be him…"

The scientist's smile became even wider from her fretful tone, knowing that she was probably just as concerned as he formerly was, but it being slightly humorous how she continued her search even when he had already been located.

Looking to Dog before cocking his head to the ground slightly, Gordon motioned for the mechanical canine to put him down. Whining joyfully once more; Dog lifted him in the air happily, which made him laugh quietly, until the man's happy expression quickly dropped upon seeing the sight above them.

The entire sky was a clouded dark gray, except for the apex of the Citadel: ominous swirls of reddish-orange and black all churned unnaturally into a glowing yellow epicenter. All in all, the structure looked like it was a few loose screws from completely caving in and imploding: **not** a good thing when they were so near it.

_Why would she stay here so long – she should be somewhere safe; not __some feet, if even that, away from an unstable Citadel. _Gordon deliberated as panic began to grip him again, knowing that Eli wouldn't approve of this, and neither did he.

_I'll be lucky if he doesn't need a coronary bypass…__And that's definitely before he kills me first._

"Drop what you're doing and help me over…here…" Alyx's words clearly showed how frustrated at her companion's lack of effort she was as he was obviously toying with something, before her voice gave out as Dog set its 'plaything' down gently next to her.

The physicist, while thankful to see the crouching woman unharmed, could not shake the foreboding feeling he received from his brief view of the Citadel, and this showed on his face as his former smile had been replaced by a tight, thin line, his brows deeply rutted from distress and slight aggravation.

Even for her, this was horrible.

Giving the woman a perplexed, yet uncompromising look, the man darted his eyes back to the vortex in the sky before snapping them again on her in an attempt to show that they needed to get out of here fast, but all he heard was a disbelieving gasp before witnessing her expression go from crazed anxiety to overt relief.

"_Oh my God_…" Alyx trailed breathlessly, her lips forming that brilliant smile he had no valid defense for as her amber eyes rapidly scanned the man, as if not believing him to be real, before unpredictably lunging toward him and encompassing him in an unyielding hug to prove herself wrong. "_Gordon_!"

Gordon, not expecting her actions – **hell**, plain not knowing what to think – staggered a few steps backward before regaining his footing and looking down to see how extremely elated she was, feeling her grip only tighten all the more. Softly sighing to himself, Gordon reclaimed a soft smile, knowing that while extremely reckless; he should be grateful that she even bothered to look for him in these hazardous conditions...But then again, this was Alyx.

_She lives for these types of things._

Hesitantly and just a tad bit awkwardly, his arms lifted to wrap themselves around her upper back, but he was far gentler since he was still equipped with the HEV suit and didn't want to cause any serious damage – especially since this was his way of thanking her. He enjoyed the warm feeling, though he tried hard not to admit it, the situation becoming a bit uncomfortable as she only kept holding on to him; he would almost say…desperately – before finally letting go, her face the picture of a recovering fear.

"I was _so _worried." She claimed while her hand gestured toward her body as every word she spoke was laden with pure and unadulterated emotion. "I didn't know if…." The sentence faded away as that same hand's clutch tightened against her chest.

Gordon cocked his head to the side slightly, waiting patiently for her to finish her explanation, yet a brow rising from finding out he caused his companion so much unneeded anxiety when he had been in impossible situations numerous times before, not knowing exactly how to deal with the circumstance he was now in: the only time he had seen her show this much...passion, was when she was killing Combine soldiers or with her father.

_Well...There __were those two times on the elevator before I went after Breen. _He reconsidered as he remembered her gratitude for him coming for her and then her hand on the clear glass; the regret and dismay in her eyes. _Though in retrospect, it was a pretty impossible situation: trepidation would be rational.... _

Mentally shaking his head as he knew he was once again over thinking things; _The curse of a scientist, _he decided on a thankful nod to show his appreciation for her sentiment before suddenly seeing Alyx's eyes widen with what seemed to be realization; she suddenly took a small step back, an almost sheepish chuckle releasing itself from her lips as she looked away from him shyly.

_Is__ she...__**embarrassed**__? _Gordon asked himself, now completely bewildered by what was going on, before wondering what expression had he produced to make her react like this – especially since she was now toying with her mother's necklace: an act he always linked to when she felt something strongly. _But...__**Why**__? _

Gordon continued to stare and analyze her quizzically, hoping that she would explain what was wrong, though she kept her eyes from him until they landed on Dog.

"Um, hey...Heh – the gravity gun: give it to him Dog." Alyx ordered in a rush, as her mechanical pet looked as lost as he was before outstretching its arm to him.

Shrugging his shoulders slightly inside of his HEV suit, the physicist kept his silence as usual before walking up to claim the favored weapon, not knowing why he felt better with its impressive weight now in his grasp. Looking then back to Alyx, who seemed to make a full recovery from whatever was affecting her before, he saw her smile approvingly at him.

"There, Gordon:" She replied to him having possession of the gun, before chuckling, "I can see that Dog's happy to see you too."

As if on cue, the robotic canine whirred agreeably as its wired head bobbed up and down excitedly in time with the light pounds of its massive paws to confirm its owner's remark.

Alyx rolled her eyes before raising her hands in a way that meant 'calm down', but still laughed at her pet's antics. "Ok, you ham; that's enough – I think Gordon gets it. Go on ahead and get the monitor set up so we can check in with my Dad." As it quickly ran off to fill her request, she looked back to him, "He must be worried sick...He was _so _sure that I wouldn't find you here." The woman bragged lightly: she was clearly proud of herself for her discovery.

Gordon shook his head with a small smile before almost losing his balance as a strong quake rocked the two, the man making himself ready just in case Alyx would fall backwards but she managed to regain her balance as well before pointing to the sky.

"The Citadel's really falling apart...I still don't know how we got out of there..."

Hearing her trail as his eyes were once again glued to the sight of the impending destruction above, he suddenly remembered their predicament before chastising himself on forgetting it so easily.

_Why did she stay her__e? She should be with Eli and Kleiner! _

His stern expression was back with full force and this time looking for proper justification before he was once again halted by the look on her face: unsettling, deep distress.

"All I remember is..." Alyx paused before continuing, "Breen falling, _huge_ explosion, and...Vortigaunts? Next thing I knew, Dog was digging me out of the rubble, just like you." She commented, nudging her head up to where the robot was. "It's all so strange..." Her eyes fell to the ground, her hand covering her mouth as her brow furrowed from thought until she looked back up to him and sighed, "We should-"

"_Alyx_! _Come_ _in_!"

Gordon flinched slightly, the loud voice startling him out of the once pensive mood that surrounded the two of them, but his companion, as always, sprung into action.

"It's my Dad!" The woman turned away from him and got a running start before jumping up and grabbing a ledge. "We've been trying to reach him for hours. Wait till he hears that we found you!" She exclaimed happily as she gazed down at him, it never ceasing to amaze the man, if not fill him with a slight twinge of jealously, that she could perform such acrobatic movements without missing a beat, her lithe body easily reaching the top while his heavy, HEV clad form remained on the lower level.

"Sweetheart -- come in!" Eli Vance's static filled voice rung out in the small area again, before his daughter ran toward it, shouting "come on" over her back.

Sighing as he realized that he still had not been able to properly..."voice" his concerns, Gordon let the issue go for now since they were both safe and focused his attention on how he would meet up with Alyx. His eyes quickly scanned the area, noticing the unstable looking planks covering what appeared to be a gate after avoiding the fire to its right.

_There we go. _

Lifting the gravity gun, he easily removed all three of the wooden planks before gravity gave way and the gate fell to the ground, making the perfect walkway for him to reach higher ground. Gordon ran up the gate, making a quick right before passing Dog and having a monitor and Alyx come into view as he watched her press a single button repeatedly.

"Dad...Dad...Are you there?"

His forehead rutting with concern at the sight of a still static filled screen, Gordon turned away from the scene when the view of two med packs were caught in his peripheral vision. The man was still banged up from the rubble that almost crushed him to death so it was a welcome sight, the HED screen on his left arm telling him that his vital signs were only at a mere 47%, the feminine voice of the suit's computer then reminding him with an aloof "Warning: health low – seek medical attention".

"Alyx!" Eli called out once more, but still no decent visual. "Alyx, come in!"

_How in the world did I miss that? _The physicist questioned to himself dryly after dropping his arm back to his side, knowing that the computer repeated itself every other minute or so…Or, of course, when he sustained more damage – which he so regularly did.

"Hold on a sec: there's so much interference." His ears caught Alyx complain back to her father, her voice almost completely drowned out by the deafening hum of a passing drop ship.

Grabbing the two packs quickly, he opened each to reveal a fat vial of morphine before administering both to his worn body and exhaling from the ease of pain, the familiar beeping and slight 'whoosh' sound his suit made in response afterwards oddly calming in a way.

Again, Gordon focused all his attention on the woman in front of him; he watched as she only continued to mash buttons before looking discontentedly behind her. "Hey, Dog; give me a hand with this."

The robot took her words literally as always as he laid a giant 'paw' on the monitor's makeshift antennae, his other paw transforming into a revolving, improvised satellite dish as it searched for a signal. While he knew it wasn't appropriate, the physicist couldn't help but find the act a little comical as he recalled similar scenes where frustrated watchers did the same to get their game back on.

_If only this were just TV… _He trailed, his mood darkening.

"Ok." Alyx stated approvingly, effectively snapping off his depressive thoughts, as he looked up surprised to see the picture was remarkably clearer. "A little to the right…" Her father's face was now seen perfectly, "Ok – hold it there! All right…We got it." Though her tone was clearly pleased from the accomplishment as she informed him, her face did not reflect such as she glanced back at the screen; worried. "…Dad?"

"Alyx – where are you?" Eli asked again, alarm dripping heavily from his voice, "Oh, _please_ _God_, tell me you're out of the city."

Gordon saw her visibly wince as her entire body seemed to slump from the inevitable, negative response.

"W-well…Not quite yet-"

"_What_?!" His face reeled back sharply from the screen as the angered tone boomed loudly throughout the enclosed area.

"But listen, Dad:" Alyx continued, trying to mollify him with an explanation, "we finally found him."

"You found Gordon?" Eli repeated back, as the named man moved closer to give him a small, uneasy smile in confirmation to his daughter's claim, hoping that the older man would not lash out on him too harshly for not getting Alyx out sooner.

It never came.

It was…expected, in a way, the elder man's look of shock melting away into relief from hearing he was alive, but at the same time still…foreign. Just like Alyx, another had shown such expressive emotion for his safety: something he had never had before…Something he didn't feel he deserved, even after all they had been through; not when the situation they were in was his fault.

"_I don't believe it_…" The Resistance leader trailed, shaking his head in wonder before blinking himself out of it, "But listen: you two have to get out of the city! The Citadel could blow at any moment!"

"There's no question that it will, I'm afraid." Kleiner's voice randomly filtered through, as his spectacle wearing head popped on the screen, pushing Eli behind. "Our remote sensors indicate the process is accelerating toward a dark energy flare!"

"Izzy."

"Any one left in the vicinity will be subjected to energetic events-"

"Isaac!"

"-whose effects," The scientist continued without pause while readjusting his glasses, "are certainly beyond my powers of speculation. The ravages to cellular material would be-"

"_Kleiner _– _stop_!" Eli yelled out in exasperation, forcefully grabbing the other man's shoulder toward him and away from the monitor.

"_Dad_?" Alyx exclaimed questioningly, as she saw her father pause in all movement, her face dropping as they both witnessed him begin to fall before his friend bent down to help him stand.

Gordon was sure his face mimicked her own, already feeling his brow rut tightly and forehead crease from the truly defeated look his companion shot him throughout Dr. Kleiner's words; the brief, yet apparent flash of very real terror in her amber eyes, enough to make him willing to give his left arm if it would teleport her straight to where her father and the others were.

_Maybe those Vorts again…Though, they're not much for location. _He thought a tad bitterly, still not fully trusting the now allied aliens.

"Oh dear…" Kleiner's shaky voice broke the silence, managing to stabilize the man he held, "Eli, I'm sorry, but, surely, there's no need for undue alarm: Alyx is well out of harm's way by now."

Casting another regretful look toward Gordon as he could only give a stiff nod in support, she answered hesitantly, "Well, actually…We're still at the Citadel."

"_What_?!" Kleiner repeated in almost the same manner as her father, his immense surprise showing through his fretful actions. "Oh dear – but there's really no time: the core is exceedingly close to collapse! Why, there's no way to get far enough, without…f-first…" He began to stammer nervously as he realized the only solution, "_Well_…Nothing short of a direct intervention in the core could possibly retard-"

"Izzy." Eli called out, much softer than before if not more jaded.

"-the reaction suit." The other scientist finished, giving the shorter version.

Gordon internally cursed their rotten luck while Alyx looked away from the screen in disbelief and to him.

"You mean…Going _in_?"

Kleiner nodded. "Into the core; yes. But it's _far _too dangerous to consider! The chamber will be _bathed _in radiation."

The woman turned back to the physicist, a thoughtful expression now on her face. "Well, you _do_ have the hazard suit…" She pointed out as her hand echoed her sentiment, "If we found a way back into the Citadel, it's possible-"

"Alyx – _no_!" Her father abruptly interjected as he once again pushed himself to the front.

Her former, confident disposition seemed to crumble at his words. "But Dad-"

"Izzy! Talk some sense into her!"

Gordon felt bad for Kleiner as he saw a truly apologetic face try to explain to a man why he should take the chance of letting his only daughter die.

"I-I'm…sorry, Eli, but I don't see any other way. It _would_ help us evacuate more citizens…" He added, knowing his friend was worried about that as well.

"We can do this, Dad!" Alyx pleaded, seeming to need his approval over all others before she could proceed.

Seeing the still reluctant expression on her father's face, Gordon gave another firm nod to him as his free hand clutched into a determined fist.

_I'll protect her. _

As if reading his thoughts, Eli sighed resignedly, knowing that there would be no convincing them otherwise – not like there was a choice in the matter – and brought his face close up to them.

"Ok, Alyx…O-o-oh-ok – _okay._" He finally agreed, his voice uneven from fear of his daughter and her companion's safety, "Just promise me…Promise me you won't take a single unnecessary risk – both of you."

Hands fidgeting together, Alyx let out an inaudible breath. "I-I promise – and Gordon does too: we'll be okay, Dad." Her hand rose to land gently on her father's face, as the scientist once again watched the same balanced amount of love and pain fill her very being. "I love you."

Her dad smiled warmly. "I love you too, baby. I'll be praying for you."

"Don't worry." She assured, with poise her companion was not sure how she always managed to have, "I'll see you soon."

Gordon flinched as the once animated screen was abruptly severed from Dog removing its hand, it loud as it displayed only static once more until the volume was turned down. He could only sigh to himself: it was always like this – they were **always** in danger; it was a lie, what she promised Eli, and he was sure she knew that as well: their very **existences** were unnecessary risks: especially to the Combine. There was no way in hell the two were going to diffuse the core without almost dying in the process.

_Killing and dying…Linked, yet so very different in context: _The physicist mused, _and we have to face the two each and every day. _

Exhaling as he once again had to stop himself from questioning how one was to live that way and not go insane or suicidal; he pulled himself together since the woman he traveled with would not fall to such meaningless depressions, her jokey optimism giving him the impetus to keep fighting many times before.

Gordon, gripping the gravity gun that much tighter as he again held it with both hands, looked up to only see his vision of her strong character suddenly collapse: Alyx, bowed head supported by a single hand, was silent as she closed her eyes despairingly, her fingers rubbing against her temple.

"Yeah…Don't worry." She repeated to herself sarcastically, it obvious that she did not fight the evident hopelessness in her tone.

The man felt his already unused throat, go dry when he heard this, saw how utterly defeated she appeared. It had to be the first time he had ever seen her not immediately ready to kick butt and take names – to do whatever it took to stop the Combine without a moment's hesitation whether she had a plan or not.

_This…can't be the same person…_ Gordon began in his head as he lifted a hand toward her in an attempt to assure her they would be alright in some small way – that they would survive as they always did, before dropping his arm and severing its path to her shoulder as it went to his side. _I…shouldn't._

His last thought seemed to have as much of an effect on her; his companion hastily lifted her head to the sky and inhaled deeply before releasing the breath, shaking her head then as if in an attempt to break away from all the abundant negativity surrounding the two. Her opened eyes stunned him when she unexpectedly glanced his way: at first, weary, and then in a blink of his eye, rapid realization – just like before when she had hugged him. He did not get the chance to observe any longer as she pressed both of her open gloved hands against her face; slowly, she dragged them down until they were completely disengaged: her expression nothing like what it held moments before, but now firm and resolute.

_Alyx… _Gordon internalized with what felt like a frown on his face, not knowing if his thought was an acknowledgment of what he'd known her to be in the past, or a calling to this new peek of vulnerability in their present.

It did not seem like his frown was taken lightly, however, as her features seemed to harden even more when her amber orbs fell on him again, before her mouth opened to speak.

"Ok, Gordon: let's see if we can find a way back into the Citadel from somewhere along the rim." She explained with an unsettling amount of composure, jabbing her thumb in the direction she spoke of before both she and Dog began to walk off.

Wanting to say something once again, the man only sighed: his concern wouldn't change their situation and she wasn't the type of woman who regularly shared what she was feeling outside of what was on her face…Neither was he, for that matter, but he wasn't too big on most forms of communication.

_Hell, at least she talks. _

"Dog, a little help, please?" Gordon heard Alyx question to the mechanical mutt, her tone more than perturbed.

He shook his head as Dog whirred, almost as if in apology, and walked over to the enormous piece of refuse – no doubt from a Combine drop ship – before smoothly lifting it up far enough for them to both crawl under.

Its owner smiled, clearly no longer as annoyed as she was before while petting his arm. "Thanks."

Dog whirred once again, but it was clearly happier from her gratitude.

Gordon gave the robot a quick smile to show that he was also grateful for its assistance before ducking and crawling to the other side after her.

"Ok, boy;" Alyx began as soon as he approached, "pack up and meet us on the far side of this ridge."

A soft "whooh" sound responded to her command, its heavy load then dropped a little while after.

Gordon began to explore their new path across, seeing that his companion read his mind as they both headed toward the edge only to see a single small ledge beneath; the only refuge from an extremely dark abyss below.

"_Whoa_!" He heard exclaimed across from him. "_What a drop_!"

The scientist could only nod as he placed a hand to his forehead, blocking it from the bright rays of the low sun; it was a bit risky, but it wasn't like they had anywhere else to go: the way back was cut off, they could only move forward; the man looked at her expectantly then before she smiled back at him a bit nervously.

"Well…After you, Gordon." Alyx offered "politely" as her hand gestured down to the narrow ledge.

He could only scoff as he did his best to incorporate his thought of "Why me" into his expression, knowing he succeeded when her smile widened to a mischievous grin while he nudged his head in the same direction.

"Age before beauty." The woman answered simply, as if nothing else in the world could be more accurate.

Tapping the side of his head in a mocking "duh" gesture, Gordon only sighed as he knew he would not win this verbal battle – and even worse, he knew that she knew the same: moving his feet to the edge of the rocky ledge they were on, he began to let his feet slide up it slowly.

"_Careful_." The physicist heard her warn just before he felt himself falling downward, a soft grunt escaping him when he landed safely.

His companion exhaled. "Good."

Looking above, he saw Alyx's face reflect relief as she no doubt had watched his every move, wanting to make sure that he was okay…even though he was clearly standing and unharmed – not to mention the drop was nowhere near life-threatening. Gordon gave her a satirical thumbs-up sign and an amused smile when he saw her roll her eyes at him.

"All right; well, since you're so confident, keep on going: I'll be right behind you."

Nodding, the man turned on his suit's flashlight before continuing on the now illuminated path, dropping down again to a lower section, but it nowhere near as far away as the one before. He ducked under a protruding piece of metal and rock before seeing, out of his peripherals, a piece of flaming debris careen down into the abyss below – this sight stopping him just before a large chunk of the path rumbled loudly and fell to gravity's pull as a massive rock crashed into it.

_That was…dramatic. _Gordon thought as he eyed the now gaping hole in front of him while he stood up.

He took a few steps back and clutched the gravity gun to his torso before running an extremely short distance and jumping off yet another ledge to reach the other side, his landing point a fair distance away from the edge. Turning around, he shuffled backwards a bit as he saw Alyx following him, already preparing to jump the ledge as well; with a single upward thrust of her arms combined with the force of her legs, the woman smoothly transitioned from point A to point B without so much as a stumble, but a sure smile as she stood in front of him.

"Not too bad for a girl with no suit, eh?" She questioned, apparently pleased with herself.

_Show-off_… Gordon trailed internally, but only answered her with a shake of his head as he turned away from her and resumed his trek.

He had to crouch down to his knees once more to avoid some pipes, before he let off a golden stream of pulsing energy in the direction of an old car, the gravity gun's power more than enough to make it, and several rocks, tumble down into oblivion. The man pressed the button for his flashlight to turn it off when spotting a small fire as the area suddenly opened up drastically to more then just a slight ledge, his body turning again as he saw Alyx emerge out of the darkness as well, confusion weighing heavily down on her brows.

"Why is it taking Dog so long to meet us?" She voiced her concerns to him, before turning toward the ledge above surrounded by enormous blocks of metal, cupping her hands around her mouth. "_Dog_!" She waited for a response before exasperatedly calling its name again – a rapid intake of oxygen filling her being as she sharply looked up and pointed to the sky. "_Look out_!"

Following suit, Gordon's eyes widened with shock as he saw what looked like a small comet hurl down from the bloody red skies – no doubt from the dying Citadel, a huge piece of refuse rapidly following it as it zoomed toward the ground and hit with an earth-shattering bang.

"_Oh God_…_**Dog**_!" He heard Alyx scream out in terror as he watched her place a hand over her mouth in absolute disbelief before dropping it. "_Dog_ – _are you all right_?!" She yelled out again, frantic now.

Gordon could almost feel every single muscle in his once inconceivably tense body relax as the mechanical canine swiftly appeared, its gears churning as it ran up and jumped on a metallic ledge before looking down at its master playfully: its carefree whir as if nothing had happened.

Alyx's entire body slumped downward with the force of her relief, "_Oh thank, God_…" Her voice was soft before she glared up at it, pointing a finger in accusation, "Don't you _ever _do that again: you scared the _hell_ outta me." She chastised, before the gesture fell. "Now, stay with us…And help us find a way over."

The physicist sighed again, hearing how soft and low her tone was, knowing she was still rattled from the event but letting it go because it was more important to her that the robot was safe: Dog was her companion since she was a little girl; she even personally build him up to what it was today. And even he, after knowing it for such a short time, had become affectionate toward the fearless robot – from their first game of catch to his pouncing of an enemy gunship that would have no doubt killed him at the time, Dog had grown on him more and more…He didn't even want to think on how Alyx would feel if **she **lost it.

Shaking his head from the morbid train of the thought, Gordon's mind came back to the present as he was a bit startled to see his companion now in front of him, looking across the expanse ravine.

"I cannot _believe _we're trying to get back into that place. This _isn't _gonna be easy." She admitted to him tiredly with fingers pressed to her forehead; a remark he could not help but agree with.

_All that help from those Vorts, only to risk dying by going back into the place we __**just **__escaped from – typical. _

Waiting a bit expectantly for what they would do next since this **was **her idea, her classic, and fairly endearing thinking pose, which she employed when completely stumped by something by holding her chin with one hand and supporting that arm with the other, was in full swing as her eyes stared unblinkingly at the Citadel, resting on a solitary opening with an eerie blue glow.

The man, smiling slightly from the habit, looked to her inquisitively as she lightly cocked her head to the side before breaking her pensive gesture with a hard blink; she swiftly turned around.

"Well, Dog…What do you think; any ideas?"

The robot almost looked surprised from being called on, as the two both looked its way, it hesitating a bit before attracting a rock to its paw and punting it all the way across the chasm…Until it completely missed the opening and smashed into the outlining wall.

_Ouch…._

Gordon winced at the thought that that could have been them, and fortunately, Alyx seemed to advocate his musings as she shook her head at the sight.

"All right, Dog;" She chuckled softly from the outrageous idea, "that's not too helpful."

Dog whirred in disappointment as Gordon could only give an apologetic expression to the advanced mechanism before both of them faced the Citadel once more, knowing that despite his reservations of going back in, he would have to think of a way inside as well.

_There are no ledges leading over there…And no successful way to get in besides that single opening…which is too far for us to reach by any conventional means. Maybe, if I used the gravity gun to…Or we could try to walk around – hm…We could probably go and…I got nothing._

Glancing over to the woman beside him with hope of her having some sudden insight, he saw her only resume her thinking pose, her eyes narrowed with concentration on her thoughts.

"There has to be a way to get across…But how…?" She suddenly turned to him, "Come up with anything?"

He shrugged lamely, a frown on his lips.

The woman shook her head and chuckled, no doubt finding his thwarted expression humorous. "Well, get out of brawn mode, Gordon – you still have to exercise that genius brain of yours or it'll turn to mush."

Wishing he had a suitable answer to give, his supposedly superior mind was not able to come up with anything that wouldn't get them 100 percent killed.

"Wait!" Alyx began, her tone brightening as much as her face, "What about-"

The robot behind them abruptly began to whir loudly before its paws pounded hard against the ground in retreat.

"Dog?" Its owner inquired curiously, wondering what its sudden excitement was about before walking with it as it galloped faster and jumped to another ledge. "Dog, where are you going?"

A long 'whoo-err-err' sound emitted from the mechanical canine as it swung itself off a metal bar and clear off into the distance.

Gordon, utterly confused to what had just happened in the small amount of time that passed, walked up to where she stood while she faced him, head cocking to her left with a small smirk.

"Was it something I said?"

The man, not being able to stop a small smile from spreading on his lips from her humorous question, briefly closed his eyes as he let out a couple of short breaths that were his version of chuckles.

Recovering and opening his eyes to her again, he nodded in reply before making his way toward the innermost northern nook of the clearing, not missing her feigned sulking on his way, however.

A noisy crash was heard as they both got closer, a mountain of dust billowing up in the air because of it.

"Huh…?" Alyx asked baffled before jogging closer, "Dog? Dog, where are you-" Her sentence was cut off as another crash resounded throughout the area. "Again? You know…" She scratched the back of her head sheepishly, "It might be time for Dog to have a few bolts tightened."

He only shrugged again before pointing to her and then jabbing his thumb in the direction the robotic canine had gone into.

"Oh, it's _my_ fault Dog's acting this way?" She asked back, acting affronted from his assumption.

Gordon nodded once to show she was correct, never ceasing to be amazed that she could read him and his thoughts so very well when he had not released a single word.

_Must be all the time we spent together before…She had to try to understand me somehow._

"I might have made him, and…Ok, so maybe Dog's personality is a _little_ similar to mine," His companion confessed reluctantly, "but that doesn't mean I've asked him to act all crazy like this!"

He just gave her a skeptical look, holding off on mentioning that she had her moments where she was just as crazy – before placing a finger against his lips when he heard the unmistakable grind of metal.

Straining her ears to the sound, she looked to him. "What is that?"

Before any answers could be gathered, an extended mechanical roar echoed through the air; Alyx, seeming to recognize that particular sound, started to hurriedly backtrack as insight filled eyes shot to him.

"Gordon – _look out_!"

As soon as the warning left her mouth, a dingy red car suddenly appeared in the sky with no explanation, it flying fast toward the two as the physicist let an explicative ring throughout his head before flinging his body to his right: the vehicle just missing him as it landed with a deafening jolt to the ground, before bouncing up and skidding harshly until it halted right at the edge of the ledge they were on.

Slapping into a wall, Gordon grunted from the acute stop, slightly dazed from not only the dull pain but how this chain of events happened in the first place.

"Gordon!" He then heard Alyx exclaim with worry as she made her way from the other side of the vehicle. "Oh no…" She trailed, seeing him in a slump against the jagged, rocky wall. "Are you hurt?"

He let out a heavy exhalation before shaking his head, testing out all of his limbs before standing to his feet again.

_Nerves shot; yes – hurt: no._

She sighed before patting down her blue jeans of the dust they gathered: no doubt she had a little tussle in the dirt as well.

"What in the world was Dog thinking?"

The subject in question jumped down to their level before bobbing its head up and down before Alyx in clear achievement.

She frowned at him, placing a hand on her slender hip. "Dog; really, that was a little close – too close. What's gotten into you, huh?" Its owner asked, seeming genuinely baffled to its strange behavior. "How exactly is _this _supposed to help us?"

As if waiting for the chance to prove itself, Dog nodded its head twice before running up to the car and opening the driver door…and then effortlessly ripping it off.

"_What_?" Alyx gave back to him in incredulity as she crossed her arms. "Wait a minute – _oh no_." She emphasized her rejection of its idea with a 'no deal' gesture with her hands, "You're not serious." She scoffed before seeing her pet stick its head through the empty window of the car door and nod. "Are you…?" She then asked hesitantly, realizing that this was no joke.

Dog only nodded again before tossing the door to its left, continuing to whir in concurrence of its suggestion until Alyx quieted him with two hands in slight surrender as she gave it a look that clearly conveyed "give me a moment".

Turning around to face him, Gordon gave her the most unyielding, disapproving look he could muster – not at _**all **_liking where their conversation was heading: looking at the dangerous expression on her face as she comfortably plopped on the side of her mechanical mutt, his forehead rutted all the more as he glanced back and forth from her to Dog before pointing to the old car.

"Unnecessary risk." His gravely, yet scratchy voice stated, the sound almost foreign to his own ears as he shook his head obstinately.

"Hey now: at least give me a chance to explain why I think we should give it a shot." She complained lightly, not being able to help the shock registering on her face a few moments before from him speaking; even she knew that it was extremely rare, and if it was done it meant it was important. "I know what it looks like – a death wish, but it's not like we have much of a choice here: we have to get into the Citadel. And…" She began to trail before she leaned against Dog's arm, "Unless you have a better suggestion, Gordon: this is what we go with."

_A "better suggestion"?! _The physicist screamed in his head, as he almost felt compelled to let this leave his lips as well, _How about something that wouldn't instantly kill us before we even __**reach **__the Citadel? _

Alyx must have sensed his frustration, if not seen it on his face, because he heard her sigh loudly.

"Look; if anything, let's not forget that Dog _is _a robot here – he's done the math." She assured confidently, before pausing and bending down to its head. "_You, uh…Did do the math, right_?" The woman then muttered under her breath apprehensively, only to get a candid shake of its head before it bowed down and whined; she patted his head once before leaning up and pushing it away. "_Uh-huh_…"

Smacking his hand to his head with a groan, Gordon felt in his gut that this was an extremely bad idea, and the fact that even Dog, the one planning to hurl them across the huge ravine, was uncertain if they would make it made him more than unsatisfied.

_And if the toss doesn't kill us, its aim will…We're going to turn out just like that rock…._

It was not as if he himself was scared of dying after facing death so many times, but in no way did he want Alyx to suffer the same fate: she had family left, people who depended on – and more importantly – loved her. He had given his word…figuratively, anyway, to Eli: the man that was the closest thing to a father-figure to him besides Kleiner, that his daughter would return back safely, that he would not take a chance on her life and he planned to see that through. Looking to complain against this plan even more, his companion was already facing Dog, to his dismay, with a look of complete resolution.

"I want you to get out of here as fast as you can." She ordered firmly to an unhappy Dog. "Go find, Dad." The mechanical canine whined sadly until she rubbed his head. "Hey; none of that…We'll catch up, don't worry; you'll just have a bit of a head start."

Dog whirred sadly again before rising up to its full height and encompassing its master in a big hug as it lifted her from the ground in the process while she let out a surprised yelp in surprise.

Putting her gently back down, Alyx laughed from its antics. "Alright, _alright_…I'll miss you too." She admitted to him softly, petting him on the head one last time before walking to the car opening. "Now, don't worry about me: I'll see you soon – we _both _will."

Gordon ran a gloved hand through his short, dark hair before sighing for what seemed like the thousandth time today: somehow, he knew that he would not win here – that he wouldn't be able to convince her out of this. Approaching the dilapidated red car with a slightly reluctant stride, the physicist pushed out the tumble of negative thoughts assaulting his calculating brain to only meet failure as it could not stop rationalizing on how slim their rate of survival was with the reckless action.

Setting the gravity gun down first, the man hoisted himself inside, a small trickle of dread going down his spine as his bottom finally rested on the leather seat.

_No turning back now…_

His thoughts seemed to echo on his companion's face when he looked away from a prancing Dog to her; the look on her face….

_Well, saying it makes me speechless is pretty redundant…Uh…even more so, maybe? _He thought unsurely before reminding himself that he was over thinking again.

Brows tightly knitted down, her eyes were absent of any and all former humor as she gazed into his own unblinkingly, the full brunt of the gravity of their situation reflecting heavily in her expression. He felt another shiver course down his spine as he witnessed the slow, shaky breath that traveled throughout her chest as she inaudibly communicated her gratitude – not only for what he was doing now – but for every situation where he had willingly followed her to what could be both their deaths; a look that clearly conveyed the sentiment that if she were to die, there were few better choices than him to do so with.

_Alyx…_

Increasing warmth filled his entire being as Gordon could not cast his gaze away from her own, his expression, he hoped, mirroring the same outlook…Until the connection was broken when the car abruptly jolted as Dog began to lift the vehicle up.

"Brace yourself." The woman next to him warned firmly, her own hands instinctively going for the wheel as she clutched it tightly when the car rocked again.

Feeling his breath catch in his throat as the robot aligned them with the opening at the other side of the gorge, the physicist swallowed nervously as they were lifted even higher into the air.

_We're gonna be okay…We're gonna be okay…._

"Okay, Dog – let's do it!" Alyx exclaimed brightly to his immense surprise before his ears caught the ragged breath released from her mouth. "B-before I change my m-"

Gordon's heart lurched inside his chest as the car slightly descended toward the deadly abyss below, the verticality of both the Citadel and the rocky cliff searing the image of an agonizingly painful death in his brain as adrenaline made his body go into overdrive before his eyes caught some flying mechanism about to crash below.

_Holy…_

The two were then suddenly snatched back up and brought to eye level to the opening again, the vehicle craning backwards as it tilted up.

"C-careful…" His companion stated shakily, her hands now impossibly tight on the steering wheel as if her intervention with its use could somehow change their fate if they missed their target, "H-hold on!"

Gordon could swear he could feel the exact second before they would both be flung through the air, like the final push given to a spring that had reached its limit; and just as he was about to close his eyes so he could at least avoid seeing what caused them their untimely demises, Alyx's gloved hand secured itself forcefully around his own seat clenching one, amber and green meeting for only an instant before the car was forcefully chucked forward.


End file.
